Translation: “The first time I had sexual contact with someone, not actual sex, but contact, was against my will. I remember being 14 and I made out with this guy and he wanted to take the next step. I wasn’t ready, told him no, he did certain things. I remember being on my way home and feeling so disgusted. I showered five times afterwards. I told myself that this is a normal feeling after doing stuff like this. From that moment on, I went downhill. Puberty, they said. When I was 19, I thought back to that moment and only then, I realized that I was sexually assaulted. Things kind of started to fall into place of how I became after this happened. I haven’t told my family. I sometimes feel the urge to tell them, but I don’t want pity or sadness. I’m fine with it now, over the years I started to cope with it and it’s in the past now. I was shocked, though, how your mind can just lock traumas away and how it will chase up on you anyways. I”m so proud of myself and how I handled this on my own. I’m proud of where I am and how I am as a person now. I’m sure everyone would’ve supported me, but I was too scared to tell, ashamed in a way. I’m so proud that I’m happy now, and that I am open about it in a way. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in this and I’m proud of how I handled things, my achievements and ability to deal with it.” -Vera
